top sheilas

don't you love days like today? when despite the fact that the horrible realities of war, famine and disease are plaguing half the world, the front pages of all major newspapers remind us that there are more important things than human suffering. like beauty pageants.

after perusing today's headlines, i have concluded that princess mary from tassie is like, so last month. now that jennifer hawkins, a cheerleader from newcastle has taken out the miss universe title, denmark can have mary. although i am seeing a golden opportunity for an FHM double-page spread featuring a jelly-wrestle competition between these two lovely ladies for the crown of australia's fave gal.

part of this year's pageant required the contestants to strut their stuff in the "traditional dress" of their native land. apparently jennifer tradiitonally gets about newcastle in a tight grey bodice and full skirt with what appear to be native animals crawling their way up to her rude bits. interesting interpretation.

in wanting to stay abreast of important australian current affairs issues while trapped on foreign soil, the lovely lala today emailed this question to me: "if you were in the miss universe pageant*, and you had to wear australian traditional dress, what would you wear?"

i'm pretty much thinking trackies and a vb singlet, with splashes of sequins for that touch of glamour, a stiletto-heeled pair of $2 woolies thongs, and an elaborate diamante-encrusted headpiece made out of a case of (classy) beer.

what would your traditional australian outfit be?

i'd like to thank lala for entertaining the notion, even for a second, that this would ever happen in a million years. maybe they have flying pigs in japan (where she resides).