cry me a river

"they" say that grief manifests in weird ways and at unexpected times. "they" are right.

on monday night i cried (some would say "blubbered like a baby") while watching:

- the big brother final

- queer eye for the straight guy

- law and order

- the news

and then i cried again at least 5 times over the next few days when explaining to people what it was about each show that made my eyes water ever so much.

and so now i'll tell you, oh blog minions, why each show brought me to tears:

- the big brother final: ok, so i can't really explain this one. i barely watched the series, and had no interest in anyone except this boy, but i found myself crying trevor a river of joy nonetheless. or perhaps i was crying for gretel killeen's parents for having such a brainless trash-bag for a child. hmm...

- queer eye for the straight guy: the fab 5 transformed the house, wardrobe and attitude of a widower in his 60s who had spent 3 years caring for his sick wife, and then another 3 years mourning her loss. he was so happy and grateful that he started crying, and i hate to see someone cry alone.

- law and order: the story of evil insurance brokers who sold life insurance policies to jews in eastern europe in the 30s banking on never having to pay up. the performance of one particular actor who played a polish survivor was so believable i was reminded of my late grandfather who shared a similar history. and i cried.

- the news: this story about a firefighter who died while trying to save a 2 year old boy from burning to death in his family home was too much for me to bear in my already fragile emotional space.

i think maybe i need to stop watching television.