18 million dollar whore

in the news today: this story tells how iorworth hoare, who is serving a life sentence for rape, has won $A18m in the british lotto.

since the win was announced, hoare has received an uncanny number of marriage proposals from single women who find missing teeth and love/hate knuckle tatts "devastatingly sexy", who have "believed in his innocence all along" and who "don't mind giving up a saturday morning every now and then to come to the jail for a conjugal visit".

some things i think he will do with the money:

- get himself the best darn high-class prison bitch money can buy (apparently that's guido, the puerto rican tranny from cell b).

- bankroll a new d-i-y renovation reality tv series: the prison block.

- "anonymously donate" a generous sum to the judge presiding over his appeal to pay for his "pretty little daughter's" college tuition.

- buy the canterbury bulldogs and fly them all over for a visit and a good old yarn.

any more suggestions for the world's newest highroller?