my premonitions for my upcoming family holiday

in a few days i am heading off on a holiday with my mother, sister and brother-in-law. having not been on a family holiday in about 15 years, not since becoming a "mature" and "independent" "woman" that is, i am unsure of what to expect. here are some of my predictions:

- at least one of us contracting some sort of serious or bizarre injury/illness of the kind that can only be sustained by a card-carrying member of my family (such as the notorious seal-biting episode);

- getting "busted" hiding in a dark corner while sucking frantically on a cigarette despite having vowed to "take this opportunity to try and quit that filthy habit";

- having a glass of wine or two with EVERY meal, to prove that i am in fact grown up and way hip, rather than still "the baby" of the family;

- flirting shamelessly with every waiter/room attendant/male (aged 18 - 35) that i encounter for the same reason;

- throwing at least one ridiculous pms-induced monster tantrum that serves to reinforce my status as not only the baby, but also the supreme brat;

- in the spirit of family bonding, revealing one too many truths about sex and/or drugs in my teenage years and then not being able to look anyone in the eye for at least three days;

- feeling like a shallow waste-of-space when gazing upon uluru wearing designer jeans and too much makeup;

- denouncing my superficial ways and determining to find a more meaningful existence - like helping people and having a compost bin and good stuff like that;

- two words (or is it three?): mini-bar raid.