idiocy is the new black

stupid things people said today at my work:

- "do you have this in black?" (about every item in the store, after i'd told her twice that everything we have is on the shelves)

me: "no."

"how about this?"

me: "no."

"well, i think they would have been better in black."

- "can you tell the designer to make all the pants shorter from now on because i have really short legs."

- me: "how did you go with the pants"

raging moron: "oh, they were too small"

me: "did you want me to get you a bigger size?"

raging moron: "no, i couldn't possibly wear a size 10."

- "if i buy it, and then don't ever wear it, can i return it next year?"

- "my boyfriend doesn't let me wear blue."

- "do you think i could tuck these pants into my ugh boots?"*

- blind halfwit: "is this a new shop?"

me: "no, its been here for about 6 years"

blind halfwit: "i don't think so, i walk past here almost every day and i've never seen it before. it must be new."

me: (i didn't actually speak to blind halfwit again, as i was too busy gagging on the acrid smell of her rotting braincells).


*granted this isn't an unintelligent question in itself, but anyone planning to commit such a crime against good taste must be a cousin-marrying ignoramus.