the bestest in my entire life ever

last night my friend boink (yes, boink. you got a problem with the name boink? well, do ya, punk?) gave me a piggy back. a great piggy back. probably the bestest piggy back i have ever received in my entire life ever.

i must admit though that after 5 vodka sodas and several stubbies of beer, everything that happens always seems like the biggest or bestest thing in my entire life ever. and i like to share these epiphanies with others.

for example last night i also had the bestest game of bowling in my entire life ever. and i lost my most favourite earrings in my entire life ever. and i admitted to the biggest crush i've ever had in my entire life ever.

get the point?

yet still i believe, despite acknowledging my predisposition towards drunken confession and exaggeration, that boink treated me to an award-winning piggy back ride this evening just past.

and so here are the reasons why you haven't lived until you've ridden on boink's back*:

- he speeds

- he twirls

- he dips

- he whirls

- he goes "beep beep"

- among other sound effects

- he can go backwards

- he asks you to stop choking him in a most polite and gentlemanly manner

- he remains calm in an attempted hostile takeover situation

- he's a master of the scary-forward-bendover move

- and he has the stamina of a racehorse**


*and i mean this in a totally platonic, non-sexually implicative, childlike fun kinda way.

**once again, this is a literal reference to how long he managed to carry me for, meaning no erotic innuendo whatsoever. i think i must be coming down with something.