chop wood, get water

it seems the natives were getting restless while the mayor of nadstown (me, dimwits) took a brief break from blogworld.

you see, i have in fact begun writing several posts in this time, however all were subsequently scrapped due to their varying degrees of hair-pulling boredom and stab-me-in-the-eye patheticness.

for example:

there was the post about how i have become somewhat of a food sado-masochist. how i can no longer enjoy a meal unless my mouth is on fire and my heart pulsating like a 14 year old boy's at the first sight of girl-nipple.

- that got scrapped.

then there was the post about how i would like to see andrew bolt go the way of the nerdy villain in buffy who got filleted by a saucy lesbian witch* with a chip on her shoulder.

- that too got scrapped.

then there was the one about all the things i'd like to do to all the sorry fuckers who mock my penchant for inventory yet continue to read my blog and even dare to demand i write when i just don't fucking feel like it. it was in list form too. take that! (actually, i love youse all and have made with the fuzzy tinglies from each of your requests for nadstown updates).

- scrapped.

and lastly the one about how for the past year or so everywhere i look, everything i (try to) read, every movie i see, song i hear, reality tv show i endure reminds me of how my father died a horrible death and my mum got that sick bastard cancer. even sex and the fucking city, which is supposed to be about a gal's three trusty pleasures - cocks, couture and cosmopolitans - is now tackling "the cancer issue". kill me now.

- yep: scrapped.

i promise i will emerge from my self-indulgent bubble soon and attempt to "make the good funnies"** once again. until then, forgive me?



*maybe family first are right about that after all.

**thanks for that ms f.