fred the faker and the stupid pigeon

today i almost witnessed the deaths of 2 birds: fred the faker and the stupid pigeon.

my friend fleur and i spotted fred the faker - a tiny sparrow-like thing - hobbling across a major sydney road, seemingly unaware that he was blessed with the magic of flight. after a few seconds of girlie panic we realised that his leg was broken. and after a few more seconds of karma-checking, we decided to save him from a squashy death. we ran into the middle of the road and i bundled fred in a jacket while fleur stood spread-eagled, ready to stop oncoming cars from propelling me into the past tense. fred was saved! we placed him in fleur's bag and hailed down a bus to take us to the nearest vet. it was during this bus ride we realised that we were the most wonderful people on earth and that movies would one day be made about our kindness and heroism. however, what happened next was possibly the most shameful act ever performed by a bird against humanity. as we got off the bus and waited to cross the road, fred up and flew away. with ease. no goodbye. no "ta for the ride, laydeez". just a poo in a bag and a bitter memory. conned into giving a free ride home to a badass bird faking an injury.

and that is the story of fred the faker.

the story of the stupid pigeon is much shorter. it flew headfirst into the bonnet of my car, causing both daniel boud and myself to scream like girlie girls (well, one of us did. you can guess who), and then flew away again uninjured.

and that is the story of the stupid pigeon.

if i were a more spiritual, tree-hugging, nightmare hippy girl, i would probably think that these two close encounters of the bird kind was some sort of cryptic message from the almighty (call him/her what you will). and then i'd write bad poetry about it.

but i'm a dirty cynic, so i'm gonna chalk it up to coincidence and write about it on my blog instead.