on the politics of slipping
things that could possibly be the end of my recent unprecedented one month buzz:
- the knowledge that i will probably never ever make the hot monkey love with zach braff, nor kiss him on a cherry picker overlooking an infinite abyss. *sigh*
- disovering that my bestest friend and partner in bad russian accent, shopaholic, kilt-wearing fairy crime is staying out of the country for yet another year, bringing the total amount of time we will have spent together in 3 years to a whopping 5 months.
- 42 degree peel-my-skin-off-and-stick-my-bones-in-the-freezer heat.
- boys with fucking girlfriends.
- boys without girlfriends but also severely lacking a clue.
- the holiday season. kill. me. now.
things that could possibly maintain my upness:
- 8 day sojourn/spa party in melbourne with her and him and him and maybe him and hopefully her.
- ass-kicking, booty-shaking, we're-so-not-white-middle-class-bitches-right-now hip hop dance classes.
- cancer reduction.
- babies.
- beautiful, wonderful, i'm-not-worthy friends.
- possible handsome boy modelling school tour.
- vodka. lots. of. vodka*.
*if anyone wants to point out the adverse effects of this last bullet point they can eat soggy penis forever.
9 Comments:
Ha, vodka yes.
This "blessed holiday season" I will be once again producing significant quantities of flavoured vodkas for dulling the pain of summer merry-making. The difference this year is that I will be GREATLY REFINING the vodka prior to laying it down with ingredients for infusion.
Active charcoal filtering, when done in significant measure, can transform the harshness of Karloff into the smoothness of Belvedere, much reducing costs and increasing output! Yes! My plan this year is to do more fruit. Last year's winners were a cardamom-lemon-chilli mix, and the ever-successful vanilla faithful. This year? I'm thinking blood orange and lemon. Maybe even some a pepper and l*ch**.
Vodka!
Vodka!
sometimes, to slip is alright. nay, required. especailly when one is atop a slippery-dip, caprioska in hand! check her hotness people. check. it.
aw shux, elmossy.
*blushes*
*winks knowingly* then, *stops with the asterixes*.
*Peels lips from screen after tongue kissing photo*
scratch, that cardamom-lemon-chilli vodka mix sounds orgasmic. feel free to send me a bottle. have you tried vanilla vodka shots with cinnamon-coated lime to suck after? soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good.
sherriff, i hope you wiped the screen down after.
there is a huge zach braff billboard in st kilda, we should totally spend the night under it making out and (watching you) drinking vodka!
handsome boy modelling school is the best $60 i ever spent. if it wasn't for them, i wouldn't be the handsome model i am today.
...and i'd have $60.
there is no way you're getting me in a spa with those people...i love them, but i don't feel like getting violated. not right now anyway.
okay knifey, i won't force you into the spa against your will. i promise.
but a night under zach braff sounds HOT.
so does a night making out with you under his billboard.
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