gracias a todos para una oferta tan generosa

today some lovely and talented people, most of whom i have never met, made me an amazing and incredibly generous offer which i unfortunately had to turn down due to those stabbing headaches otherwise known as "responsibilities". of which i have many because i'm a big girl and the queen of the castle and master of my domain and so totally the boss of you, so there.

anyway, having endured a year that can be best described as akin to spending 365 days with wetsand in my underwear, gestures of kindness such as this make me instantly weepy and eventually force whoever is physically closest to me at the time to beg and plead for me to stop hugging and kissing them. well, not always.

and so to these six delightful souls - you know who you are. as does anyone with half a brain who reads this blog. which possibly excludes YOU - i would like to say thank you, from the bottom of my blackened heart. a thousand times. in every language on www.freetranslation.com: gracias. merci. toda raba. спасибо. vielen dank. takk de. obrigado. dank u.

youse complete me. youse make me feel like a natural woman. youse are the gin in my tonic and the vodka in my orange. i miss youse, but i haven't met youse yet. youse, youse, wherefore art thou, youse? YOUSE ARE THE WIND BENEATH MY FUCKING WINGS.

team fizli 4 eva and eva and eva.

p.s: take that james, you sorry pansy. who got out of bed on the wrong side today, huh? i made with the happies for an entire post. i wasn't angry or tasteless or "pinko" at all. at least i don't think i was "pinko". still not sure about that one. and i didn't engage in "root-tooting vehemence" either. until now, that is. james hun, i hope you choke on that enormous carrot lodged in your anus as it makes its way up to your throat. and i really hope the michael bolton track on your love song dedication cd provides the soundtrack to your gruesome, chokey end.

p.p.s: last. james slaying. ever. too tingly now.

*runs along the beach in slow motion towards her six hot lovers while totally protected by new libra ultra-thins with wings*