soppy sopp from soppsville (i wouldn't even bother reading this if i were you)

so apparently it's time to get all inner and reflecty and consider the train wreck that has been 2004. those of you who know me outside of le internet know exactly why the train went off the rails and crashed into itself at full speed. and for those of you that know only the snarky jizzwitch* i present online, maybe one day i'll tell you all about it.

i am trying hard not to get too tingly about the end of 2004, chuffed as i am that it is soon to be deceased. this is because i left lady jizz all over the place when 2003 died, and i think it's ghost came back to haunt me for it.

i have definitely learned a lot this year - about myself, others and the world at large - and i think i am a better person for it. others may disagree, and say i've changed for the worse, but hey, can't please 'em all can i?

so yeah, 2004. it was a year in which i returned hastily from my overseas lodgings (again), grieved for a parent, almost lost another, gained friends, lost friends, became a brunette, wore a miniskirt, waxed everything i possibly could, forgot how to concentrate, deferred uni, read a grand miserable total of one book, spent more time in hospital waiting rooms than i can account for, lost my passion, abandoned the children, begged their forgiveness, drank too much, ate too much, ate much too little, gained weight, lost weight, cried me an ocean, danced up a storm, lost my mind, found a substitute, did some stalking, got stalked right back, discovered online spa parties, got the tingles over a monopoly board, and started this here blog thing that i am still not 100% sure about to be completely honest but which has brought so many new wonderful people into my head that i will go on with it regardless.

my new years resolutions are to survive 2005 with my sanity intact (well, at least no more decayed than it already is). to find my passion and get back to my community aid roots. and to once again get through 365 days without chemical assistance of the anti-sadness variety.

that is of course unless i am threatened with the loss of yet another loved one. because then it's gonna be open season in crazytown and i'll be first in line for tickets.

and so, without further delay, here is the queen of nadstown's 2004 chrismakah message to the people in (and out of) her life:

love you: to my family. whether by blood or by bond. whether here, gone or undecided. you complete me. no joke.

thank you: to those people that have enriched my life this year through love, laughter, knowledge or kindness. and especially to those that held my hand and whispered sweet cliches in my ear when i absolutely, positively, really and truly believed that my world was ending.

miss you: to those that wanted to do all of the above but couldn't due to the tyranny of distance.

bless you: to all those who may have tried in vain to be there for me but who i pushed away for reasons unexplainable.

and,

fuck you: to those that walked away without bothering to say goodbye.

oh, and to dementia and cancer: FUCK YOU TWO THE MOSTEST.

but to all you lovely people who come here for some unknown reason to read my dribble: merry christmas, happy chanukah, good festivus, enjoy chrismakah, happy new year, festive idol worship, have a great goat sacrifice, or whatever it is that you're all about celebrating.

eat lots. drink lots. give lots. love lots. share lots. smile lots. sing lots. dance lots. laugh lots. hug lots. kiss lots. shag lots.

and always, ALWAYS, be good to my mother.


*best. word. ever. thanks kranki.