whats that lassie? pastor irene's a lesbian? we better go get the sherriff!
a lesbian methodist minister in pughtown, pennsylvania has been found guilty by an ecclesiastical court of breaking church law by being openly homosexual.
her charges included:
- carpet munching in the first degree.
- diminished responsibility for hairy armpits.
- just being a big, fat, dirty lesbian in general.
she was however found not-guilty of man-hating by reason of insanity on the condition that she must enter a 12-step rehabilitation program to learn to love penis again.
her punishment has yet to be decided, but in an act of international faith and generosity, members of australia's family first party have offered to douse her in holy water and burn her at the stake free of charge.
happy. happy. joy. joy.
9 Comments:
Douse or douce with holy water? Anyway, I think Family First members offer both services free of charge.
seal power
I shot a robin, it was my first kill and my last with a gun. I thought it was some nasty bird way over there in yonder tree, stalking as I had been for one long hard afternoon like Elma Fudd in the jungles of ....Oxfordshire.
Other than me, the most ferocious beast you are likely to find in an english jungle these days is a robin.
wolves and bears being a thing of the past. damn shame but shit happens.
It was a clean shot. bloody amazing actually. from a good 100 mtrs with a 2.2 rifle. clean through the head. I saw it drop. some sense of satisfaction came over me and I went to collect my kill.
my god. I shot a robin...I discovered...I actually cried in shame. took the gun home and never went out with it again.
life came to shoot at me and so far most of the bullets have missed. but I never forgot that moment. it changed me. as moments sometimes do.
now I am a wise old crone, or so I discovered recently. And just this day I was back up my favourite hill looking for spiritual answers in nature, coz thats the best place to find them, and I am sat wondering about things. For instance...why do I hear birds chirping in my head at night. I shit you not...I can hear them and listen to them. I have been trying to work out how to talk bird language but so far no luck...now this may sound strange but I am part shaman , I guess thats the best word for it.
So I am thinking about this and lo and behold, up pops a robin and starts jumping about round near my feet. fearless little bugger considering our previous meeting. Then it all kinda falls into place. I know just what those bird sounds are and what this little fella is doing hopping over to see me as it is now.
I feel kinda sad for the bad thing I had done all those years ago. but then shamans have to kill animals you know, not for food or fun but because nature brings them as a gift. In the form of spirit and that spirit comes in the form of an animal.
you wanna know more about your spiritual side. look there. I am learning. lots of animals I have seen. bears, wolves, and now a robin and those animals represent the spiritual side of us. they have something we connect to nature with.
i'll leave that with you for now, it's not a clear cut concept to understand or hook onto but the truth is that seal bit you and that day you and seal made a connection.
seal power.
interesting one.
be lucky nad
yours
scott
shit - does that mean that getting waxed this morning was a betrayal of my orientation? note to self: must act more lesbian.
i pardon me, i thought this was nads' blog. what do you expect from somewhere called pughtown?
i think i've stumbled into the freakin' twilight zone over here!
you're gonna have to elaborate on that one knifey...
oh, and red betty b, you foxy slab-o-lesbian you, i was rather disappointed by your hairlessness and apparent man-liking behaviour. have you not read the lesbian rulebook yet?
Lesbians?
You're right...better call the Sherriff...
Oh, her punnishment has been passed down from the courts on high nads. It consists of regular Brazillian Bikini waxings, and gleefully watching Gigli twice daily until she repents and agrees that Bennifer was the cultural highlight of our current epoch. Sinners be warned. This could be your fate if you give in to pooty lust.
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