i heart technology

its been coming for a long time, what with blogging and a digital camera and a burgeoning net porn career, but on friday i wholeheartedly embraced technology. this does not mean that i will now buy an ipod or hack into nuclear weapons programs and create global chaos. it just means that on this friday past i looked deep into the sparkling eyes of the technosphere and confessed my undying love for it. and then i went in for a pash.

"but why on friday?", i know you're thinking (humour me).

well petals, because on friday technology saved a smidgen of my sanity and helped me smile through my sorrow.

you see i got some rather bad news on friday. this is not unusual for me in recent times. bad news seems to have a hard-on for me and just can't fight the urge to force itself upon me. its verbal rape is what it is. or maybe emotional sodomy. whatevs.

but upon receiving this particular spoonful of sour on friday i was able to, as they say "fuck the pain away" (sadly not in a literal sense). at least for brief interludes. and for that i thank technology (or i suppose its arbiters) for making it possible for me to escape into conversation with my friends whenever i so desire, and wherever in the world i or they may happen to be.

you see as luck would have it on friday morning i got a well-timed email from this wonderful man demanding my presence in his hot new chat room. so off i trekked, across verdant online pastures, in order to prove myself loyal and worthy of his love. and who else should i find there? none other than the original spa posse. we chatted, we punned, we made with the really mature sex talk. and then later we were joined by even more bludging nerds.

it was gold. nerdy, nerdy gold. like one would expect to find in a dungeons and dragons championship play-off. or at a trekkie convention. or on a blog. hmmm.

at one point i was chatting on the main message board, talking on the telephone to ms. fits (are you so jealous now?), in a private message room with our ubiquitous host, emailing both of them, and sending text messages to one nerd about my secret interstate journey for another nerd's birthday party. yup, that's right, i was multitasking like a single-mother-of-four, factory-worker-by-day, phone-sex-operator-by-night, phd-holding hero. and i still found the time to hang out the washing and paint my toenails.

so anyway, eventually kranki's chatroom went the way of so many LA hotspots before it and lost all its patrons to reality. and i was left alone at home to wallow in my most recent blackness and actually try to rest away my sickness (for which i had taken the day off work).

but then after dinner with the fam i had a hot threeway chatathon with these fillies. and they again took some of the edge off my gloom with their endless stream of witty funnies and occasional nonsensical ramblings. bless them.

and so to technology i say thank you. oh, and i'd also like to ask it to hurry the fuck up with the whole teleportation thing. how much longer do we have to wait?