schmitzgate

has anyone seen this boy?

he's gone awol from the web and i'm concerned for his online safety.

i know he's still breathing cause i saw him on the street last week. i didn't say anything cause i'm not really looking to be his best friend in real life. and also i'm not that keen on awkward moments (i.e. him laughing maniacally at me an me cowering away in humiliation). or for that matter in being served with a restraining order for stalking.

i think maybe he has realised that myself and my co-conspirator in schmitzing are a pair of foul-mouthed nerds who share a humorous obsession with his surname and a determination to engage him in a spa party (online or otherwise). and thus perhaps he has ceased all blog-related activity based on this knowledge.

so if you have any information, please come forth immediately. you will be rewarded accordingly. most likely in a hallway somewhere. or at least with a polite 'thank you muchly'.

and schmitz, if you're reading this, please phone home/leave a comment and let us know you're okay. and for fuck's sake just get your blog on already.