inspired by jessculture

its 'write to an o.c. cast member and tell them what you think of them' day.

hoorah!

dear seth cohen,

i love you.

you are obviously the hunk of the o.c, no matter what the makers of the show want us to think. stupid ryan "check out my bowl cut fo shizzle" atwood is just an ugly clean cut wolf in bad boy clothing.

if i was summer i would dump that pathetic, cardboard cut-out of a boyfriend zach and spend all my time licking your neck and stroking your arms. i would also quit it with the over-acting and hideous pink lip gloss. but hey, if thats what you like honeycakes, i can make it work for me.

i want you to know that i am fully supportive of chrismakah as a legitimate holiday and wish to help you take the message to the people of the world. i believe it is a most valuable and beautiful mixing of cultures in these most troubled times. perhaps we could also incorporate other religious rituals into it, like yoga and cannibalism. i'm all for diversity like that.

lets make babies. lots of them. together we would create beautiful little curly-haired semites, with quick wits and huge boobs. well, the girls would have big boobs. the boys would be way cute in a nerds-are-the-new-jocks,jews-are-the-new-buddhists, emo kinda way.

you complete me.

you make me feel like a natural woman.

you light up my life.

when i think about you i touch myself.

(*touches self*)

so anyway, please think about what i have said. if you feel the same way, send me a signal next episode. if you want to be the sausage in my love sandwich, stroke your phallic toy horse three times in a row for yes, twice for no.

love and hot naked tongue-kisses,

la nadine

p.s - next time you see marissa cooper, give her a hamburger for chrissakes. the poor girl's too busy being a lesbian to eat anything but carpet. oh, then slap her silly for being such a snivelling, plastic whore with absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. kay?

p.p.s - what are you doing for passover this year? wanna come to my place? i'll let you "find the afikomen" if you get my drift ;)

xox