sometimes they let me out of the cage for exercise
things i did over the weekend that didn't involve hospitals, sickness or death:
- caught up with my favourite gun-toting bookseller and his delightful woman.
- drooled all over elo while watching this hottness-infested fantastic piece of foreign film wonder:
mmmmm...gael garcia bernal. honestly, i don't think i've been this jizzed up over a celebrity since leonardo dicaprio's days on growing pains. and this time my mum doesn't have to explain to me why i get a "funny, warm" feeling in my giney whenever i stare at his poster for too long. i'm a big girl now and i've made the sex with real boys and so i know all about that kinda stuff. really and truly.
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- watched a white stripes concert on dvd and laughed hysterically at jack white's ridiculously ridiculous pants.
- celebrated the birth of mitchell. he is tall and red and cool and hot and i am happy he was born.
- found out which of my male friends have been circumcised. i'm still not sure why i needed to know this, nor how it came up in the conversation, but maybe one day the information will come in handy.
(insert pun here, sherriff).
- had a scrumptious dinner at phamish. i think i liked it a bit more than the lovely sean and michelle at sydney food diary. but maybe that's because they didn't dine with fleur the fox and the salacious sasha.
- saw '15 and then some', the schmitz's latest offering to the theatre gods. a play about a has-been celebrity and his most obsessive fan. i'm so touched that he thinks we have a future together.
- had a post-play drink with the schmitz during which i took it upon myself to critique his performance to his face. oh, and then i failed to acknowledge the irony when we discussed his many crazy stalkers. smooth, nads, smooth.
- inflicted my sob story on way too many innocent people. including the hot mamacita at my favourite shop who made me tea, fed me chocolates and GAVE ME A FREE BELT.
*swoon*
things i am doing this weekend coming that don't involve hospitals, sickness or death:
ukelele.
unfortunately i don't think i'll be doing her in the hot, steamy, fingerbanging way that everyone who meets her surely desires. but she is coming to sydney to be rewarded for her brilliance. i'm hoping for a pash party at least.
is that wrong?
please note that i first saw ukelele's inspired piece of mastery while spooning one of the stars and her dog on a red velvet couch in a red wine and fun candy haze.
is that wrong?
7 Comments:
At least a party pash? Darling you will be indeed getting more then this.
"Come in handy" is surely a pun unto itself which hath no need for me to insert anything.
Insert anything however...
Oh. And I love you.
i love you too, mister. you come in handy often. not often enough though.
Why did the Navy Ship sleep so soundly?
Because it was full of seamen.
Yes I did just make that up. Yes it was ridiculously bad. Yes I am bashing my head against my desk as I type.
*woops off arms akimbo in a crazy style*
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
i've got one for ya that the owner of the cafe down the road told me.
q) what's the difference between a fridge and a v*****a?
a) a fridge doesn't fart when you take the meat out.
i wouldn't be repeating this crude "joke" were it not for the old polish guy sitting near me who over heard and asked the owner:
"vot you mean 'meat'? i don't oondershtand. vot meat goes in a woman's 'place'?"
Confucious say, 'it is nice to meet girl in park, but better to park meat in girl'.
sheesh, i'm a bit confuscioused myself now.
i can't work out if i'm hungry or horny.
probably a little from column a, a little from column b as the lady would say.
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