sweet child o' mine (oh woh wo-oh)

dear unborn nephew,

you poor little bugger. you have no idea what you're getting your tiny unformed self into, do you?

don't get me wrong, you are being born into a wonderful (and only mildly disfunctional) family who will love you and spoil you as if you were a pagan deity sent to us from the heavens.

i mean for fucks sake, i am already in debt to the baby shop mafia due to all the gorgeous little booties and beanies i just can't help buying in my bid to make you the most styling baby this side of milan.

and it certainly could be much worse. you could have been conceived by them:



or them:



or worse:



and i doubt i'm the only one praying that union never produces its own spawn.

but no little one, your parents are beautiful, intelligent, DIGNIFIED people who won't name you after fruit nor leave ecstasy "just lying around in the living room. oopsy" for you to gobble up like candy.

future nephew, you are much anticipated. and you will be treated like a king.

its just that, well, this world kinda sucks sometimes.

what with horrible fuckups like this and morons like this and inbred fuckmonkeys like these.

and i worry about your innocent soul beng corrupted by all the forces of evil existent among us.

but i guess i'll just have to keep an eye on you prescious, and do my darndest to steer you along the path of tree-hugging commie bleeding-heart self-righteousness.

your mum and dad will just love that!!!

so, until july mi sobrino lindo,

love 4 eva,

aunty la nadine

xox