wrap me in plastic and call me trashbag
wrong conversations i had on the weekend:
my shrink: you "googled" him? is this a new sex move thing that i'm not aware of?
me: (too busy laughing uncontrollably to respond.)
x
my sister: the baby's bending it like beckham again.
me: can i feel it?
my sister: not unless you wanna touch me like beckham.
me: what, how does beckham touch...OH...GROSS!
x
the lovely roguemaze: so, those are the famous baps. nice. there's an actress i wanna fuck with baps just like those.
me: good luck with that, blog whore.
x
new pash-buddy: okay then, dutch*.
me: fuck you.
*apparently this was a reference to arnold schwarzenazis character in 'predator'. i have no idea what the reference was all about, but i'm angry nonetheless. is he thinking about large austrian neo-con fucktards when he pashes me? grrrrr.
x
new pash-buddy: now that you've pashed my friend, do you mind if i go home with someone else tonight?
me: not one bit, dutch.
x
friend: i'm about to get into a serious relationship. pash me again.
me: (too busy googling him to respond.)
x
71 yo italian stallion at my local cafe: bella bambina, i am so upset today.
me: why's that gianni?
71 yo italian stallion at my local cafe: my doctor he says that i cannot go to italy to visit my sister this year. he says that there is something wrong with my heart. i tell him that there is nothing wrong with my heart.
me: how do you know that, gianni?
71 yo italian stallion at my local cafe: because everyday i walk 10 kilometres AND I CAN STILL FUCK LIKE A RABBIT. ask my wife, she'll tell you.
me: (too busy spitting coffee all over myself to respond.)
x
10 Comments:
The whore is back. Thanks for all your help la Nads. Nice baps!
anytime, roguey, anytime.
i just want you back for good. want you back. want you back. want you back for good.
Dutch's lipstick marks are still on his coffee cup.
i gotta a picture of you beside me, bookie.
BEVIS said...
Gianni's da MAN! I hope I'm able to root like a bunny when I'm 71.
Actually, I hope I'm not still a virgin when I'm 71...
BEVIS
*wraps nads in plastic*
TRASHBAG!
*points and laughs*
*skips away still laughing*
How do I get a little picture next to my name?
My email address is mavisbutton@hotmail.
I can go to rougie's old blog.
You looked really cute last night.
anyone who wants to see 'a little picture' of you can grab a DVD of Blurred and look at the cover, or, alternatively, they can watch the movie and stand some distance from the TV (watch it through the wrong end of a set of binoculars etc).
if it's just a little symbolc picture you're after (like Book Book and his plagarised Chook) may i suggest a simple sample of high thread count Egyptian cotton?
*frowns, remembers why he came here *
hi nads, sorry if i was brief on the weekend i was, uh, feeling brief.
... i went to a take that concert once. the year robbie bailed to go do drugs with oasis. i was heaps let down. needless to say they never relit my fire...
sorry if i was brief on the weekend i was, uh, feeling brief
that's okay, schmitz.
i've often try to feel your briefs.
*shudders at badness of pun*
*shudders again at badness of grammar*
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