what women want
dear blogosphere,
howdy! how y'all doin' out there?
i know i've introduced myself before, but to reiterate my name is la nadine. you probably know quite a bit about me by now if you've been around here for awhile, and if you haven't, i'm sure you'll catch on quick. i'm pretty complicated, but at least i'm consistent.
i am a woman. i got tits. i got ass. i cry when i'm hurt and i laugh when tickled. i like shopping and getting my nails done. chocolate doesn't do it for me as much as hot chilli. i like babies but hate baby talk. i make my own money but still hope to marry rich. i like my men to have strong hands and a fiery wit. my girlfriends mean everything to me and my family more. my male friends are my pillars of strength and my loving arms to run to. i like talking about sex almost as much as i like having it. almost. i like watching porn but hate skin mags. i am painfully honest and fiercely loyal and expect the same in return. i worry constantly about my weight but i refuse to diet. i love booty dancing and detest yoga. i drink too much and smoke too much and dream too much and hurt too much. that's me. well, that's pieces of me. so ashley simpson right now.
hear me fucking roar.
so what do women want? tough question. with a snap of my fingers i can give you a list of things I want. three lists actually: 1) material things i want; 2) things i want from my men; and, 3) things i want from society in general. but these are MY things. my wants. my needs. my desires. they are in no way representative of the wishes of all females. i would never presume to speak for all women. i have been a student of feminist politics for far too long to ever dare to speak on behalf of my entire gender. that's just so not kosher.
so the following is one item from each of my three lists outlining what i want as i make my way through this long and winding road called life. some women will agree. some won't. that's their perogative. werd.
1) material things i want:
shoes. always shoes. boots, heels, flats, thongs, sandals, uggs. whatevs.
2) things i want from my men:
honesty. i don't think i need to elaborate on this point.
oh, and the admittance that sometimes you testosterone-fuelled fuckers are as moody and irrational as those of us with pussies. remember that time you felt like a steak but the pub had run out of t-bone? remember how you sooked for the entire evening and gave me the most half-hearted licking of all time?
pot. kettle. both fucking black.
and for fuck's sake, try a little tenderness. you won't regret it.
3) things i want from society in general:
to be respected for my talents and abilities because i excel in certain areas as a PERSON, not as a woman. we all know of three little words that can make a woman either rip off her clothes or run away screaming, but what about those three little words that make her blood boil and fists clench:
FOR. A. GIRL.
i swear on my bright red stilettos that everytime these words are uttered a fairy dies in sweden.
i'm not pretty good at something "for a girl", i'm just fucking good at it. full fucking stop.
and one more thing while i'm at it:
4) things i want that i can never have because they are impossible to obtain but hey a girl can dream can't she:
world peace; the end of human suffering; freedom of religion and political practice; a cure for cancer; no more rape, aids, murder, torture, abuse or exploitation.
and while we're being unreasonable, can i have my dad back and my mum not sick anymore? ta.
please remember that this is not to be taken as female gospel. women are individual and complex creatures and no two want the same thing. well, we all want our world's rocked by the best lover ever, but hopefully we'll all get that at lease once in our lives. i know i'm still waiting.
and if you really want to know what a lady wants, here's a thought: how about you try asking her? i'm sure she'd appreciate it, and i guarantee you you'll benefit for
kisses to you all and good luck out there,
la nadine
x
p.s. the following is a links list of the other talented, HOT women involved in today's "simultaneous blog discourse". please go to their blogs and read what they have to say. they are smart, strong cookies, each and every one of them. and if they haven't posted yet, well, maybe they just didn't want to. bless them.
clem: www.lightningstruckitself.blogspot.com
darcy: www.theseminakedtruth.blogspot.com
elmo: www.floatingsignifier.com
fluffy: www.fluffyasacat.blogspot.com
fucksters: www.fucksters.blogspot.com
jelly: www.jellyfishonline.blogspot.com
jess: www.ausculture.com/blog/
ms cynic: www.whingers.blogspot.com
ms fits: www.reasonsyouwillhateme.blogspot.com
mystiiix: www.textual-harassment.blogspot.com
sugar: www.themissingingredient.blogspot.com
ukelele: www.isthisthingstillswitchedon.blogspot.com
p.p.s big ups to clem for making the banner. she's more than just a hot pair of legs.
23 Comments:
Yeah, Clem did a pretty good job on the banner. For a girl.
touche. even a fancy pic. photo shop and all that. The sugar, if you will. You write beautifully, sexily, and from your little black heart.
*sighs*
*falls in love with La La even harder*
>>WARNING: BLATANT BRAG<<
Hey everyone, on Saturday night I TALKED TO NADINE ON THE PHONE. HOW HOT IS THAT?
La: Hows it going?
A: ...I'm starstruck.
La: *noisy bar* What?
A: I'm st-starstruck
La: WHAT?
A: STARSTRUCK
La: Oh? Who's there?
Most gigglish stuttered 45 seconds of my life. Nadine, you rock.
You lady bloggers rock.
credit where credit's due.
kudos to you la nads
xx
Here I come, bringing up the rear.
Sorry, I was sleeping in. I LOVE your post. Will email you later.
*bringing up Cynic's rear*
You are gorgeous. I'd be happier if you were feeling fluffy but I still like just reading you.
PS: that boy with(out) the t-bone? If there's anything worse than a half-hearted licking I'd rather not know what it is. It takes a certain level of bravado to lie back and enjoy a downstairs tongue wrassling so lads, if you're not really going to give it your full attention please step away from the wagina.
I'm back.
Can I just say that I LOVE the idea of Fluffy bringing up my rear. And I'm in love with all of you. How fluffy is that?
I should also be packing now.
Back later. I hope you are having a wonderful day. xxx
"FOR. A. GIRL.
i swear on my bright red stilettos that everytime these words are uttered a fairy dies in sweden."
still killer with the funnies you are. love.
Disappointed. The first thing you listed were material things.
Aleks, you knew la Nadine loves the shop-bought goodies. Cope.
And may I reprezent on behalf of the ladies when I add "groan".
What Women (really) Want: Aleks to FUCK OFF!!!!
Ooh yeah - "strong hands". Yes please.
Can I delete my post now?
I know, but the first thing?
Freelancer, are trying to crack onto me?
aleks, i think you need to stop living under the misconception that i am trying to impress you.
i like shoes. cope.
Please make him go away, Nads. Please. This REALLY IS what I want.
I am defintely not that delusional. Besides if there is one thing that fails to impress me, it is people trying to impress me.
For my many fans out there, it's likely that you won't have to deal with my overbearing presence for more than a couple of weeks. I will either get bored of this, or I will be snowed under with work. Something to look forward to!
Though knowing how much you care freelancer, I may make an extra special effort to keep posting.
Thanks for organising, Nadine, and sorry I failed to deliver so spectacularly. If anyone needs me, I'll be out the back kicking myself repeatedly.
oh - yeah- Fluffy?
'If there's anything worse than a half-hearted licking I'd rather not know what it is. It takes a certain level of bravado to lie back and enjoy a downstairs tongue wrassling so lads, if you're not really going to give it your full attention please step away from the wagina.'
There. Are. NO. WORDS.
ps i'm taking time today to come out of the closet as a La Nadine fan.
This topic is fanny-tastic.
Me personally,I want to judged for my intelligence and humanity and want to be respected for the fact that I want yummy men to notice my boobies.
But I'll settle for a man who can make me scream with delight that even old granny up above will hear me get my hoo-ha's on. Of course, I would want this same man to turn into a truffle chocolate cake once the deed is done.
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