Wednesday, August 17, 2005

magical relationship equality day

on saturday miss jess and i put on our tree-hugging hippy hats and went to protest in support of the nationwide day of action against the federal ban on same-sex marriages.

saturday was the one year anniversary of the ban - "the federal law that institutionalises second rate citizenship for same-sex couples". around the country, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex (LGBTI) activists and human rights advocates rallied in unison, meeting and protesting to demand the federal government repeals the ban and institutes marriage rights for all.

in nsw Community Action Against Homophobia (CAAH) and Australian Marriage Equality (AME) teamed up to call for this anniversary to be marked with action. the relationship equality campaign has now broadened to involve all major peak queer rights bodies organised around the theme "relationship equality" for equal marriage, civil and defacto rights.

and what a glorious day of action it was. there were badges and tshirts and kiddies and cuties and speeches and surveys and dancing and hugging and little pink heart shaped balloons.

i repeat, LITTLE PINK HEART SHAPED BALLOONS!

unfortunately kylie wasn't there nor were any of the bardot girls, but apart from these minor disappointments those gays really know how to throw a party serious political protest.

the best part about the day was definitely the true-life hetero bridal party who had chosen to have their post-nuptial happy snaps taken at the hyde park fountain. by coincidence this is also where the protest ended up. hilarity ensued.

at first we only saw two pink-coated marshmallows bridesmaids and assumed it was a cute lez couple making a statement about the inanity of the law in these modern times. we were wrong.

eventually the groom turned up and proceeded to pash his new wifey and madly grope her through her bouffant of bad taste.

"that's disgusting!" asserted one protester.

"do they have to do that in public?" questioned another.

"mummy, i thought it was adam and steve, not adam and eve," said a small well-adjusted child from a non-nuclear family.*

soon the wedding photographer trotted over to our camp and asked if they could borrow a bunch of our pink balloons for their photos. we said okay, but only if they let the savvy partner of sju sju take a photo of them holding a pro-relationship equality banner.

and do you know what? they said no.

that's right, the gay-hating, howard-loving newlyweds said no.**

then they spat on us and chased us with knives.***

then we pulled out our machetes and killed the lot of them and wore them as coats for the rest of the harsh, harsh winter.****

the end.

*certain details may be exaggerated for impact/comic effect. cope.

**newlyweds may not actually hate gays and love howard. this is pure speculation.

***no they didn't.

****no we didn't.

10 Comments:

Darcy said...

So the question is, did you find yourself a gay friend? You're obviously going to a lot of effort and I commend you for that.

August 17, 2005  
la nadine said...

sadly no, i didn't score myself a gaymate on magical relationship equality day.

i think my "looking for gay friends in all the wrong places" banner may have been a bit much.

August 18, 2005  
BEVIS said...

From the way this story ended, it sounds like you may still be a little shaken from your "I nearly killed a motorcyclist!" day two posts ago ...

Are you doin' OK?

(Note the distinct lack of a 'g' at the end of the word 'doing' in the above question. That's a very intentional demonstration of both my street-smarts and my high level of care for your personal well-being. Or well-bein'.)

(And it also shows how cool I am.)

I wonder what R.C. Collins would say.

August 18, 2005  
R. C. Collins said...

My penis is miniscule.

August 18, 2005  
BEVIS said...

Ah, right on cue.

August 18, 2005  
la nadine said...

bevis: thank you so much for your concern. i am less shaken by the accident and more broken from the weekend. fits is a hard task-master of the partygirl variety. and i have trouble saying no.

r.c: you know what they say. small penis, small...um...penis.

August 18, 2005  
Anonymous said...

because they really wanted someone else's political views forced on their special day.

mmm

August 18, 2005  
Tuppence said...

Aren't they lucky they got a special day, anonymous?

August 18, 2005  
la nadine said...

i love it when you talk tough, tuppence.

August 18, 2005  
Tuppence said...

Wanna get married?

August 18, 2005  

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