i need a reason to rant today. this'll do.

dear ninemsn,

i am writing to you in regard to one of today's online polls:

'do you think britney spears will make a good mother?'

waste of time much?

how the fuck would anyone know whether or not princess poptart is going to make a good child rearer?

in the (slightly altered) words of all jerry springer guests gone by:

Y'ALL DON'T KNOW HER! Y'ALL DON'T EVEN KNOW!

granted, the poor child is socially doomed to a life of cruisin' and ho-pimpin' as the trailer-spawn of ratboy and zitface.

and sure, if the tabloid reports are anything to go by (WHICH THEY ARE!) the newborn will spend his days eating potato chips and drinking big gulps and his nights gettin' his freak on at the latest hotspot.

and i assume daddy low-pants has already bought bubba spears his first wife-beater and matching trucker cap.

but i am still not convinced that britters won't get her shit together and mother that child like she was born to do it.

i mean for fucks sake, i have known of teenagers and ex-addicts who have nurtured their offspring better than the wisest and most privileged of mothers.

there is absolutely no telling what sort of a mother any woman will make until she has a youngin' pulling at the hem of her skirt.

and besides, what exactly is going to happen if the poll indicates that britney spears won't in fact make a good mother? are we going to stage an intervention? will we send DoCS in to forcibly remove the child? will he be left in the "care" of fuckface vanstone and subsequently deported to south east asia?

or will you just smile and nod, take down the poll, and replace it with tomorrow's pearler: 'do you think nicole kidman has eaten more than twice in the past 5 years?'

yeah, that's what i thought.

so just back the fuck off ninemsn.

not only have you angered me with this bullshit excuse for an opinion poll but, worse still, you have made me defend britney spears. AND THAT HAS JUST RUINED MY FUCKING DAY!

please return to your usual bullshit polls about the liberal party and the cricket and other useless, boring crap like that.

yours,

la nadine

p.s. if you are insistent on running a britney-centric poll today, how bout something like 'do you think britney will ever pump out a decent track again, or was 'toxic' her last hoorah?'