the baps are back in town

so i'm an orphan now.

strange feeling that.

i flirted with the idea of dying my hair orange and finding me a rich, old, bald millionaire to take me in and sing duets with me. but that would be unoriginal. and we can't have that, can we?

thank you to those of you who sent me lovely messages of support, whether through the comments here or by email. i truly appreciate your kindness.

this is the last time i plan to write my sob story here. after today i intend only to provide you all - if anyone is actually still visiting nadstown that is - with my inane opinions and tales of my less-than-exciting existence.

oh, and back to the boob talk i say. its been too long between bap-offs.

so anyway, every person deals with grief differently.

some people lock themselves away from the world and cry until their bodies are drained of tears.

others become so filled with rage that they cannot help but strike out at those closest to them.

many people are so shocked by the magnitude of their loss that they remain numb to the pain of it all for weeks, months, even years.

and some poor buggers - you may find this one hard to believe - experience such an intense sexual reawakening that they can barely walk straight let alone sleep at night. my psychologist tells me this is perfectly normal, explaining that this is my THE body's way of reaffirming its own mortality. i asked her on behalf of a friend, of course.

i have been through all of these phases in the last few years, grief having been my constant companion during this time. i have cried, shouted, medicated, repressed, and fucked my way through the hard times.

but this time i decided to try something different. this time i thought a little geographical escapism might help.

so i rallied my sister, her man, their baby, and my dear pal elo and we all went here:



and did a lot of this:














and had some of these:



and drank a few of these:



only time will tell whether it helped us to heal or not. but at least we got tans*.

*or in my case, at least i am now slightly less pale than i was before. stupid eastern european skin.

x