i'm not a violent person, but...
things that are really getting on my (rather fragile) nerves at the moment:
- unwanted parking help from random male passersby.
i'm a woman, not a fucking moron.
- the phrase: "i've been meaning to call you but...".
spare me.
so, what's got YOUR goat recently?
20 Comments:
got an hour?
God I hate those parking watching guys!
But today no this week allright this month it's those people that say cunningly disguised sarcastic bitchy comments that leave you temporarily speechless, and then you think of the perfect comeback driving home.
People who order Jim Beam [that sentence could really end, right there], and pronounce it:
Jim Bean.
It's the ultimate sign of illiteracy and laziness.
ALSO, trying to decipher the word verification thingymajigg, which is growing consistently more illegible with each day.
Today: My little finger. I accidentally chewed on the nail / cuticle between management meetings and the day to day panic / terror that is my life.
And by chewed, I mean "chewed a bit much".
Now every time I Capitalise, use the letter A (double whammy!), or exclaim, a dull ache and irritation pervades my very body.
That, and I've had 8 hours sleep in the past 48, I've been bitten by a spider (it's a fucking *welt* now), and my sore shoulder has a mosquito bite on it just out of reach, about where the sunburn is peeling itchily.
It makes me want to tanty like it's 1999.
Goat thieves. God I hate those livestock-stealing sons of bitches.
Hot enough for you? *snicker*
*SNAP!*z
mrlefty said what i was going to say.
so i'll say: other people beating me to a gag. but it's ok. i don't mind. that much.
Clever, Mr Lefty.
Ooh, Enny.
How about, "not if I see you first."
But you won't see me first. Because I'll be hiding. Waiting in ambush to leap out at you and stab you in the throat with a trident for being such an annoying bastard.
Or people who yell out "taxi" when someone smashes a glass.
Words. Cannot. Express. How. Much. I. Want. To. Kill. Them.
People having completely inane mobile phone conversations in public spaces - restaurants, trains etc.
AAaaaaaaggghhhhhh......
This is what I want to say to these people:
Yes, sometimes your phone rings and sometimes you need to have a conversation to sort something out then and there, but for the love of Mary restrain yourself from crapping on about crap for another 20 mins. Noone wants to listen to your personal Home & Away type dramas but because you are speaking at a volume loud enough to be heard over jackhammers (and completely oblivious to it) - we can't avoid hearing you.
So shut up & hang up.
Phew..... thanks nads.
i've got a couple more.
people who litter.
people who are bullies to animals and small children. and women. and, well anyone really.
tradesmen who lie. mechanics who see you coming and fuck you over.
oh i could go on and on.
john howard and his contribution to the movement thatcher and reagan started in the other half of the world.
bad spelling (especially by primary school teachers) and bad grammar.
Bed bugs. Yes, that's right, disgusting insects IN MY BED.
And the multiple resulting bites that make me look diseased.
Why am I doing this gross warehouse living thing?
Oh, also, workmates who want to know every detail about what I'm having for lunch. Next they'll be asking to inspect my 'movements'.
Alice
So how are you Nads? I've been meaning to call you but...
but what? But I decided to get a lobotomy instead?
Methinks the darling cynic needs a new job!
Well, the mobile phone thing someone already mentioned. If you're using a phone you are speaking into a microphone and your voice is coming out of a speaker. You do not NEED TO SHOUT: ELECTRICITY MAKES THE WORDS GO BIG FOR YOU.
Also, employers who can't be bothered telling you who has bought the business and when they are taking over. Even the manager doesn't know. Joe B- : you're an ignorant, bullshitting, 90s-model-Mercedes driving cunt.
*close vent*
I work in customer service, so it's customers. They. are. so. stupid.
i'm a woman, not a fucking moron.
Maybe it's coz you drive like a moron?
:)
Anyone who fucks up the timing in a sing-along. You know- the ones that skip the pauses in between verses. I can deal with their being tone-deaf because I can sing louder, but NOTHING irks me more than when you can't have a friendly ol' sing-along in a tent with marshmallows and dark chocolate and good times without someone fucking something up the timing.
que: best. vent. ever.
clokeeeey: i know you are but what am i?
That story about the Tortoise and the Hare. It's like, great one Tortoise, you fucking slow ole Reptile (?), if evolution hasn't made you slow enough so you can't beat a Hare, then you come and tell us all a story about it LIKE WE GIVE A SHIT. If I had my way the Moral of that story would be FUCK STORIES.
I'm also kind of 'cut up' about Sports (mainly Tennis, can't anyone put a stop to it??)
Kind regards,
IOYC Doesn't Just Make Cars, He Creates Cars
i love you, ioyc.
wanna make out?
you don't have to answer that.
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