oh, wouldn't it be loverly...
so i've started house hunting. tired of sleeping on a fold out couch in my sister's sunroom, i've decided its time to find me a place to call my very own.
yup, that's right bitches, i'm buying property. actual property.
and fuck me sideways if it isn't a stupid bitch of an awful pastime.
at first i was all excited, driving merrily from house inspection to house inspection, singing every appropriate cheesy song from "all i want is a room somewhere..." to "our house..."
but as time drags on and i continue to share a wardrobe with my six month old nephew - and anyone who knows me knows how much i value my closet space - my initial enthusiasm is rapidly diminishing.
i mean, i can barely decide what type of underwear to purchase, so how the hell am i going to buy a whole fucking house?
there are just so many decisions to be made, and i honestly don't know if my poor, scattered brain is up to the challenge.
for example:
do i want to live in a house in suburb X or an appartment in suburb Y? do i want a ground floor appartment with a garden or a higher floor with a balcony? do i really want the worst pub in sydney to be my local? just how big should the second bedroom be? and how far away from my bedroom should it be so i can have loud, violent sex? do i really need a study or can i set up my workspace in the living room? is carpet really all that bad? why are there no spas in places within my price range? how much storage space do i need? does it matter if...
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahBLAH!
for fuck's sake people, all i want is to live somewhere vaguely nice in which i won't be awoken at six every morning by a (very adorable) crying newborn baby.
and another thing while i'm on the subject (because i know you're all still reading this INCREDIBLY interesting diatribe), why is the real estate world so very much like the dating world?
think about it, the two cardinal rules of buying a house are thus:
1) don't ever let them know just how interested you are, and;
2) shop around before you make a commitment.
sound familiar, ladies?
no wonder i'm hating this house hunting thing so much.
but i guess in the long run whether you're dating a man or buying property from him, you're gonna get screwed one way or another.
i just wonder if a real estate agent will hold me in the morning.
21 Comments:
At risk of further confusing you:
Should you buy a house in Suburb Y ..... if, as the urban sprawl spreads further and further out into the suburbs and one day that suburb that is dank and musty NOW, and seems like it is in the middle of Butt-fuck Nowhere, will BECOME the next NEWTOWN, gentrified, not too far away, how on earth did she ever afford a house in this great suburb, will make you bucketloads of cash in future ...... YES.
My sentence construction is failing dismally today but I'm sure you comprehend me.
If you can tolerate the bad area for about a decade, you will enjoy the luxury of living in a house over an apartment. You may also find your house jumping almost $200 Grand in value should you choose to resell (as our house did).
So, can you stay the distance or do you want immediate gratification?
The old adage about the ugliest house on the best street always rings true as well.
Good luck, my lovely lady x
P.S. I always buy Old Kent and put hotels on it.
Slow and steady wins the race.
most. comprehensive. and. informative. blog. comment. ever.
gold star for you, cynic.
i always went for mayfair and park lane. but you'd be rooted if you got one and someone else the other. this happened recently and i was pretty surly about it.
anyway, nadine, buy in as best an area as you can afford i guess. depends on future plans.
oh and try to have an office space. lounge-room set ups are a pain in the arse. as for the loud sex, and a second bedroom, it is a consideration. just try to go for solid brick.
good luck
more sage wisdom.
keep it coming people, keep it coming.
I'm a fan of location over space. As I'm sure you are. The local pub is an important consideration so kudos to you there. If an agent thinks they've got you on the hook start openly flirting with other agents right in front of them. Get a fake call on your mobile while you're with them from the OTHER agent. How embarrassment! That usually brings them back into line.
wow, you three should be on an advisory panel.
a HOT, NAKED advisory panel.
um... i'm feeling the strain of doing naked advising now...
if you have a car, off street parking is also important
and check out any body corporate fees you have to pay. stay away from elevators and swimming pools. sorry, but it has to be said. also remote control gates can be expensive to fix.
[smiles, pleased with self]
[racks brain for more advice]
oh and don't buy into any "oh, we have another offer" and then get sucked into a bidding war if it's a private sale. tell them to get fucked unless it's your dream place, and then just bend over and ask them to do what they like to you.
Dear La
Please don't buy a disused Silo where heaps of fucking suss dudes hang out farming and shit - because the price will be fucked on a joint like that (Unless it is also on Oil?).
Kind Regards,
IOYC How Will I Know If My Application Has Been Successful?
although i am on the lowly plateau of rentals (and no doubt will stay there until it is submerged by a mass tidal wave in 2026) i must add the following:
1. shower
2. "vibe"
3. sunshine
4. coffee shop local
5. no psycho heroin junkie neighbours who kill slugs for fun
6. no more number "13"s, real or disguised
7. convenient and ample power points
8. nothing on a slope or partially submerged in mud (unless "vibe" is really good)
9. street name good
10. PUBLIC TRANSPORT!
Ground floor over balcony (unless the view is amazing). They are a better investment AND there's something to be said for having your own (minute) bit of earth to put your feet on*.
You can always install a spa later (when you pull the carpet up).
*By this I mean that it's easier to sunbake naked in a garden than on a balcony.
wow, this is the best forum for advice ever!
so, what can y'all tell me about snagging me a fella?
Pimple Punk - you make some very good points. For example, I almost bought this place which was perfect: Solid brick, quiet, friendly, airy, bright, gorgeous gardens, parks nearby, established fruiting trees etc, but it was on Pissflaps St. It ended up getting passed in.
PS: the word verification was "crnrbox". Corner box? Maybe a sign.
make sure you get a proper structural appraisal from somewhere like Archicentre - who check for things like termites, rising damp, and wiring.
if only there was a similar procedure for the fellers *sigh*
i dunno, my friends tend to give free 'structural appraisals' of the boys i "bring home" to meet them.
they also do a fantastic interior appraisal as well.
maybe they could start charging for it.
Fluffy, there is a street called Pissflaps Street??? Oh dear god, what were they thinking??
Clearly my comedic timing is off. There is no Pissflaps St. Not that I know of.
Clearly my brain cells are functioning at less than full capacity. And I don't even have Monday as an excuse......
As you were.
fluffy i laughed at pissflaps street. alot. it was perfect comedic timing. perhaps it's something to do with non-daylight saving up your way dstah? put it down to that, lovey.
[hug]
No he won't hold you in the morning. More likely piss on you then steal your purse.
A year and half it took me. A YEAR AND A FUCKIN' HALF!!!!!!
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