welcome to two thousand and sex, population: all of us.
so new years was incredible. i spent it in a mansion, atop a mountain, surrounded by friends, eating amazing food, drinking fuck-me-dead cocktails and having many a champagne-enhanced spa party to pass the time.
for a more detailed and eloquent description of the festivities, see here.
certainly one of the best things about this new years past was the fact that for the first time in many years, i had NO BOY TROUBLE WHATSOEVER!
i was not stood up, dumped, cheated on nor used by a member of the opposite sex.
i was boy-less and care-free, and i LOVED IT!
i did, however, indulge in a spot of dirty texting in the wee hours of the new year morning, but that's neither here nor there really.
anyway, going against my usual mantra - "new years resolutions are for sorry cunts" - i have decided to make some this year. six of them in fact. cause its two thousand and SIX.
actually, that's a lie. not the part about it being 2006 (it most certainly is 2006) just the bit about the last numeral of the year being in any way responsible for the number of resolutions i have made.
i can't lie to you.
group hug?
um, so anyway, here are my six resolutions for two thousand and six:
- quit smoking.
i've decided my chances of dying of cancer are high enough already.
- pole dance my way to hotness.
i've conquered the art of the booty dance, and its time to make the pole my bitch.
- learn to play the drums.
as if! but i'm gonna try.
- cook more often
i can't live on take-away forever. or can i?
- not lose any more family members.
possibly the most difficult item on the list to achieve, considering my recent past.
- buy a house.
some cheeky bugger pointed out to me that this isn't actually a resolution, per se, being both necessary and inevitable. well,
i also aim to further my career as an actual paid writer, and to start doing volunteer work again. but i've already listed six things, and "here are my eight resolutions for two thousand and six" just doesn't have the same ring to it.
as you were.
11 Comments:
MORE PASHING OF ME.
*cough*
that's a given, sherriff mchottington.
i don't need to resolve to do that.
cook more often
I seriously misread that initially as...
cock more often
that's number nine, jess.
but no smoking of the cock for 3 months right? if dave must struggle through, you must too - a handshake is a handshake...
i have no intention on renegging on my pact with dave, miss elo.
i didn't say my ninth resolution was to smoke cock more often, now did i?
don't do pole dancing, nadine. it's not becoming.
but all other res's are ace.
Not becoming? I beg to differ. you wait till you see nads do the smoking pole dance. Then you see who becoming.
ha ha fluffy. very good.
that was a very smokey cabaret skit. you and i should go into business. me the dumb one, you the smart one with the gags.
you missed out the move to melbourne resolution
i wish i could, mr. hottsman.
even just to see your shining face more often.
but alas, tis not to be.
i do plan on visiting at least once a month though.
so, see you soon. hopefully for a certain party.
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