optus. 'NO!'

as many of you know, my wonderful mother died last year.

i have no desire to wax emotional about that today, though.

instead i want to share with you a disturbing piece of mail i opened yesterday.

it was a promotional letter from optus, addressed to my mum, expressing the company's "regret" that she had "chosen to cancel her optus account" and hoping that she would "consider using their services once again in future".

HUH?!?

the woman died for fuck's sake! she did not "choose" to cancel anything!

and they have her death certificate and a letter from me on file to prove it.

but wait, it gets worse.

this was on the front page of the letter:
















and this was on the back:
















tasteless much?

and what's more, accompanying the above were pictures of talking birds with speech bubbles that read "are we there yet?" and "i think we should go back where we came from".

TALKING FUCKING BIRDS!




*inhales*




*exhales*




now, i'm sad to see my mother go too, and i'd REALLY FUCKING LOVE to have her back more than ANYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED EVER!

but this is the most insensitive administrative fuck-up since roy morgan research called THREE TIMES and asked if my DEAD father would like to do a survey on LIFESTYLE choices.




*inhales*




*exhales*




so i called optus customer service this morning and very calmly told them about how monumentally they'd fucked up and that if they don't take my mother's name off ALL their mailing lists RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, they would have my sister to deal with. and she's one scary bitch when she's angry.

so now i'll just wait patiently for my fruit basket to arrive.

hey, roy morgan sent me chocolates. surely optus owes me a mango or two.