an apple in the hand saves nine
i returned to uni last week for the seventh (and hopefully final) year of my undergraduate double degree.
to be honest, after seven years of stopping and starting, i have about as much interest in finishing my degree as i do in getting tit-fucked by tony abbott. and i would rather be tit-fucked by kerry packer's corpse then ever let the federal minister for health anywhere near my breasts.
me comprendo?
but i promised my mother on her deathbed that i would graduate. and so graduate i will. i hope. unless someone else i love decides to get sick and die on me. again. for the third time.
aaaaanywaaaaay...
in a class last week, the tutor said something that actually got me thinking.
bizarre, i know.
she said that she had heard once that the combined wisdom of the world can be summed up in twenty cliches.
and - even though i have vowed to maim and/or kill the next person who tells me that what doesn't kill me will make me stronger - i wanna know just what those twenty cliches would be.
suggestions?
21 Comments:
I'll help with ten. After that, you're on your own.
1. Time heals all wounds.
2. A hard man is good to find (hyuk hyuk).
3. Success begets success (particularly true if your last name is Packer).
4. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
5. Life wasn't meant to be easy.
6. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
7. Too many cooks spoil the broth, so back the fuck up, motherfucker, and get your own broth.
8. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
9. Many hands make light work.
10. Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining.
11. The biggest gift you can give is yourself.
12. You don't have to re-invent the wheel (or get fellow bloggers to do your homework).
the bad:
13. at the end of the day...
the good:
17. A man comes from dust and in dust he will end - in the meantime it is good to drink a sip of vodka.
[wisdom from the old country].
oops 14.
numbers, so painful
15. It doesn't rain; it pours.
16. You cannot love another until you love yourself.
17. If you love something set it free. If it loves you in return, it will come back blah, blah, blah. (Unless it's Craig Reucassel who is only PRETENDING that he doesn't love me and only married someone else TO MAKE ME JEALOUS.
I knew I shouldn't have untied him.
18. ALL Liberal-voters are cunts.
Maybe not a cliche, but still WISE WORDS.
'A stitch in time saves nine'.
19. The best laid plans go to waste
20. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
Take that "161-245 The Ways of Paradox"!
"What doesn't kill me only makes what's left of me stronger"
1. You can lead a Horse into a Water, if you want.
2. A Bird in the Hand is worth, like, heaps especially if it is an Eagle.
3. Beware the Ides of March, because they are pretty fucked (nb: Only applicable of Macbeth).
4. What doesn't kill me is pretty weak and I could probably kill it instead --> if I was angry.
5. People who live in Glass Houses are so fucked.
6. Time heals all Wounds unless you get really sworded up by a Warrior.
7. You can't make a Silk Purse out of like, Darts.
8. Keep your Friends close and then ask them to smash your Enemies with a bat.
9. When the going gets tough, just make a big Napkin and hide under it.
10. [Removed - Ed]
I think BWFS's above comment is brilliant. I can't follow that. But of course, I have to. I'm not going to just wait around here for someone else to comment before me.
I was going to suggest that there's one cliche that would do the job on it's own, La Nadine:
"The combined wisdom of the world can be summed up in twenty cliches."
Accurate for the purposes of our little investigation, no? (Well, do I at least get bonus points for my cleverness?)
i too liked black wind, fire and steel's suggestions, but i think the people in glass houses would be really hot.
however
enter the pedant]
nadine, perhaps you should ask your teacher what she means by a cliche, does she mean "a trite stereotyped expression" or does she mean "a short popular saying, long current, embodying some familiar truth or useful thought in expressive language" which is what a proverb is. And often it contains some sort of advice.
so here are my twenty, in alpha order because i am copying them out of "the concise oxford dictionary of proverbs"
1. absence makes the heart grow fonder
2. actions speak louder than words
3. after a storm comes a calm
4. all good things must come to an end
5. all things come to those who wait
6. if anything can go wrong, it will
7. the apple never falls far from the tree
8. ask no questions and hear no lies
9. if you can't beat them, join them
10. beauty is in the eye of the beholder
11. beggars can't be choosers
12. believe nothing of what you hear, and only half of what you see
13. better the devil you know than the devil you don't know
14. you cannot get blood from a stone
15. you can't tell a book by its cover
16. let the buyer beware
17. when the cat's away the mice will play
18. never choose your women or your linen by candlelight [my own personal creed]
19. every cloud has a silver lining
20. don't count your chickens before they are hatched
and that's only into the c's. perhaps there would be a top hundred? is she going to tell you what they are, la?
Dont shit in your own backyard.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
Out of sight, out of mind.
A rolling stone gathers no kate moss.
Don't get your meat where you get your bread.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Don't thumb rides with farmers who get cosy with their sisters.
Oh God, that IOYC.
*sides ache*
Personally I have always loved the expression that a friend who is from the Caribbean taught me:
'Hurry-hurry make bad curry.'
I think it's kind of the equivalent of 'more haste, less speed.'
How does number 9 fit in your list alphabetically, MG??
PS - I also like: "We'll burn that bridge when we double-cross it."
[takes off pedant medallion and puts around bevis' neck]
Woo-hoo!!
maybe it's b for "beat" in the alphamabeticalisation?
oh, and I have another (maybe an example of murphy's law?):
- the more witty the comment, the more incomprehensible the word verification.
or how about the drunker the commenter, the longer and harder the word verif, esp with lots of v's and w's that are next to each other, also j's and l's that are straight...
actually, i don't need alcohol to make those ones impossible.
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