looking for answers in all the wrong places
i just had a q & a session with my old pal 'the book of answers', during which i asked it:
"book, how is it possible that i have made it through almost seven years of university without sleeping with one of my professors or tutors? is this not what every young woman does when she goes to university? or is it possible that i have watched too many trashy american movies in my time?"
to which the book replied:
"well la nadine, you chose to undertake a degree at university in which 97% of the teaching staff are radical feminist lesbians, and the other 3% are old, british men. perhaps if you'd taken a less academic and female-oriented course, you may have got to make the hot sex with a tutor."
"oh, and you have most definitely watched too many trashy american movies in your time. read a fucking book already, for fuck's sake. this whole, whiny "i can't concentrate enough to read a book because my parents died and i have too much on my mind" bullshit is just getting old."
actually, it just said:
"don't be ridiculous".
but the rest was implied.
11 Comments:
LOLOCOPTER!
I miss that book.
And I bet it added "Your tits are gggggreat!" but you're being humble, as per. Own it, bitch. Own the rack. And let me touch it up a bit at the end of April x
i'm afraid i can no longer own the rack.
i was forced to sell my baps on ebay to pay for my contribution to jess-aid this week.
they are still attached to my body, but you'll have to ask the new owner for permission to touch them.
i don't know his number, but i believe he goes by the "street" name of 'k-fed'.
In the words of my hero, Mr Britney Spears...
That's FIYA!
issues much?
der. where have you been?
Who owns the rack?
Do I own the rack?
um, no adam, no you don't.
i thought i explained this already.
kevein federline (the soon-to-be-ex-mr britney spears) owns my rack now, having recently purchased it on ebay.
i still have the rack, i just don't own it. but i am going to try and buy it back when i have more cash.
but if you wanted to impress me, you could try and buy it back for me.
Jesus, Anonymous is coming a bit late to the party, isn't he?
Next he'll be telling you that there's a smidgin too much sex talk on this here blog.
BUT WE ALL KNOW THERE CAN NEVER BE TOO MUCH.
PS - If the older English gentleman wears a beret and a black leather jacket, I have him this semester and it's torture.
i love this thread, good luck with the buy back...
Tuppence,
That sounds like the tutor I have this semester. Are old British tutors who inflict torture, whilst wearing berets and black leather coats, omnipresent?
Nads,
I love that you consult a book. I have a book like that. I'll ask it something like, "Hey Book, why didn't that boy call me back," and it will spout some shit by the Dalai Lama like, "Love everybody."
I'm all like, "What? What sort of fucking answer is that, you stupid book? You're supposed to say, "Because he's an arse-hat who wouldn't know a great woman if she upped and bit him on the cock. Why don't you punch him in the nose and then sleep with his best friend."
It's like political-correctness gone crazy 'round here.
you know what i saw the other day? a magic eightball that was actually a magic fortune cookie. i am going to buy it immediately.
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