fasten your seatbelts...

several readers of nadstown have expressed concern over my last post which, they say, appeared to be far removed from my usual writing style.

"are you alright, la nadine?" asked many a kindly soul, apparently worried that the unusual post evidenced a departure from sanity on my behalf.

"did someone else write that?" was another common question.

and lastly "shittest. post. ever." critiqued more than one armchair reviewer(all of whom obviously haven't read my archives).

in answer/response to all of you, i'm just having a wacky ol' time at the moment, and i guess the last post reflects that.

i am packing up my late parents' house for my pending move to 'Elsewhere, NSW'. and with this task comes the burden of emotion.

and we all know what emotion can do to a self-confessed (and heavily medicated) drama queen.

i'm angry. i'm sad. i'm horny. i'm numb. i'm scared. i'm manic. i'm lethargic. i'm ugly. i'm selfish.

i'm also jealous of everybody who isn't angry or sad or horny or numb or scared or manic or lethargic or ugly or selfish.

and i HATE being jealous.

in the past week i have given away to charity the entire contents of my mother's wardrobe (bar her wedding dress and a particularly HOT italian clutch bag), sold furniture i have scratched away at since childhood, read through the divorce proceedings of my father's first marriage, discovered that my mother kept every single letter i ever wrote her (including the one in which i proclaimed i was "too stupid to go to school anymore"), cried over many an old photograph from happier times (when i had two living parents and a cat), and lost countless hours of sleep feeling guilty about "moving on".

but don't cry for me blogospherina.

as with the heartache will come closure. and with closure will come catharsis. and with catharsis will come sanity.

or at least a little of each of them anyway.

i hope. OH, HOW I HOPE.

so bear with me over the next little while, as i prepare to bid farewell to my nightmare on elm st. cause if you think the last post was weird/awful, i fear it may have only been a taster of things to come.

and if you don't hear from me for in the coming days/weeks/months, it is because my mother taught me that if i don't have anything nice to say, i shouldn't say anything at all. and for the first time in my life i'm considering heeding that lesson.

x