my brain hurts

(legal and ethical) things i did over the weekend:

- i celebrated the schmitz's birthday by getting horrendously drunk, swapping clothes with the birthday boy, and then winding up the night in the dodgiest of pubs unsuccessfully trying to instigate threesomes with people neither myself nor my new drinking bud wanted to see naked anyway.

- i awoke mid-afternoon one day, stumbled half-naked towards the bathroom, tried in vain to push open the closed door, only to be scared half to death by the voice of the plumber my sister had failed to mention would be around that day telling me "OI! I'M PISSING IN HERE!"

- i spent seven hours locked in a small, convenience store-lit room at my university, surrounded by several other shamelessly bleeding-heart tree-hugging students, entrenched in discussion about the events and aftermath of the hindmarsh island bridge affair.

- i did the above activity: ON. A. SATURDAY.

- i attended a party wearing a floral dress and ugboots, with a pillow shoved up the front to imply up-the-duff-ness, a black eye painted onto my face, and a packet of cigarettes permanently shoved underneath my hot pink bra strap. don't fret, it was a 'trailer trash' themed party. i'm not turning into britney spears. yet.

- i made nice with the boy who popped my cherry. not that kind of nice though, perverts.

- i met an intelligent, compassionate, SEXY boy who i cannot have because the gods of hot monkey love and attainable happiness don't like me very much.

- i wrote the following haiku:

i write awful poems
'poems': one syllable or two?
d'you see what i mean?

- various wonderful people cooked me various wonderful things including dumplings, sang choy bow, vegemite toast (don't knock the simple pleasures), bbq lamb/steak/sausages, pear and spinach salad, and cous cous and eggplant salad. i almost came after every amazing mouthful. almost.

- i blogged about it all because my brain is too dead to write anything more interesting than a recap of happenings in my own mediocre yet entertaining enough (for me) existence. and for that i apologise, readers.

- i went to bed. well, actually i am going to bed now. but by the time you read this i will most likely have been already. ya dig?