oh cult!
so it seems i have started a cult.
i was having drinks at a bar called 'misty' in melbourne with a charming and devastatingly handsome new friend and somehow i managed to talk jimmie, the delightful barman/owner, into joining "my cult".
well actually, jimmie didn't need all that much convincing.
i informed him that 'THE CULT OF NADSTOWN' involved little more than unbridled worship of me and the occasional virgin sacrifice, and he declared himself a member without hesitation.
furthermore, when i told jimmie that spa parties would be a daily and compulsory event in the cult, he beamed with schoolboy-like enthusiasm.
and then he asked my HOT brainiac of a drinking companion if he himself was a member, no doubt imagining him neck-deep in bubbles, as any person in their right mind would.
and as i am in fact doing right the fuck now.
excuse me for a second...
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...
okay, i'm done.
for now anyway.
sigh.
so a few days later the hotness and i were back drinking at misty, and jimmie asked me if i had recruited any new members into my cult.
"sadly no," i replied, looking forlorn.
but then a large, pierced SAILOR! at the bar who had apparently overheard our conversation asked me just what my cult involved.
"unfettered worship of me," i replied, sounding in no way full of myself at all.
and apparently this was enough for THE SAILOR!, as he declared himself a member right there and then.
he then proceeded to spend the entire night hitting on me, but that's another story altogether. and one i may or may not choose to convey to you in the future.
the point is that 'THE CULT OF NADSTOWN' has offcially begun, with two members and counting.
and there's no telling how big it will get with time.
i suggest y'all jump on the bandwagon before its too late*.
join now and receive nothing tangible whatsoever.
x
*what it could possibly be too late for, i don't know. but consider yourselves warned nonetheless.
26 Comments:
Alright, I'm in
me too...
i'll join. but i at least want a membership badge or something. maybe a t-shirt?
sigh. okay.
i advise you write a bad straight-to-paperback work of fiction which we could quote from, place our hands on, hit our kids with, so on.
and, yeah, a badge would be nice. or a cermonial dagger with some kind of dynamic symbol lasered onto the steel itself. you know, something culty, but classy.
I'm in. I want a La Nadine badge.
Does that mean we have to get bitten by a seal as an initiation rite?
i'm probably going to regret this, but...
THERE WILL BE BADGES FOR ALL!
send me your address details and i will send you a 'THE CULT OF NADSTOWN' membership badge.
i'll work on the cult's mission statement in the meantime.
and tms, if you want a fruity dagger, i advise you ply me with alcohol on the weekend.
more than you usually do, that is.
Well, as long as there's a badge, I'm in. Oh, and I've had "unfettered worship of [you]" for some time now (been lurking on the side, hehe).
With ice on the wind,
The Cult of Nadstown,
Receives another member.
Is the cult Sydney-centric or can ring-ins from small rural towns join ? If so, I'm in. Especially where there are badges concerned.
I got bitten by a lizard once, is that good enough? I don't fancy my chances of coming across a seal anytime soon is all....
You had me at 'hello'... I mean, 'badges'. Count me in, but there'd best be some kind of ceremonial robe involved.
perhaps you and tms can be in charge of cult merchandising, surlyboy.
or you could just get together and play dungeons and dragons of a saturday.
whatevs.
do you have international branch? badges will be good. maybe also a hat.
also please provide details of what the membership involves, shared bath with ms fits?
also perhaps you should consider discount plan for major retailers
You keep D&D out of this, young lady.
Don't make me smite you with my plus one mace.
Also, what are your thoughts on Kool-Aid?
a little bit of kool-aid goes a long, long way.
especially when its laced with poison and dispensed to cult followers for afternoon tea a la jonestown.
there will be no kool-aid parties in 'THE CULT OF NADSTOWN'.
rest. assured.
poke fun at D&D, go on, roll that twelve sided dice
let me know when the t-shirts go on sale. or if there really is a badge i would like one of those please.
am i being ignored in my international inquiry?
are you racist? like Ms Fits? (she expressed dislike for people with purple hair. not that i have purple hair, but i sympathize with people with purple hair).
i'm feeling left out.
sheesh, treespotter, only child much?
in answer to your questions:
yes, 'THE CULT OF NADSTOWN' is open to international membership and possible overseas branches.
no, shared baths with ms fits are not a definite membership allowance (but rather a perk for the cult leader, yours truly).
yes, i will consider lucrative merchandising partnerships with major retailers.
and no, i'm not racist. i just don't like a lot of different people equally, regardless of their skin colour or ethnicity.
x
Bags me first interview on Today Tonight - 'Why I gave up everything for The Cult of Nadstown.'
oh cynic, i'm not asking you to give up everything for me.
but then again if you want to, who am i to stand in your way?
I don't mind giving up my dignity. I'd give up my virginity too if I had it to offer. And hey, feel free to take possession of all my worldly goods.
I don't even need a badge.
But, it's all for a worthy cause.
And what does tms mean by slagging the bad straight-to-paperback work of fiction?
*Reconsiders career choices*
*prostrates self at La Nad's feet and worships her for all eternity*
I've never been bitten by a eal, but a friend of mine was once biten by an otter at Melbourne Zoo...
Dammit I meant seal, not eal, and definitely not eel. As you were.
*whistles tunelessly*
if i understand your comment correctly, doesn't that implies that i will be the leader of the international branch and therefore entitled to certain perks?
Hah! So lucky i am!
treespotter, if you are going to undermine my authority by attempting to name yourself "leader" of an international branch of worship, there is no place for you in 'THE CULT OF NADSTOWN'.
there is only only room for one leader, and that leader doth be me.
you may refer to yourself as an 'international ambassador'.
BUT DON'T PUSH YOUR LUCK, BOY!
and if you are so desperate to have a bath with ms fits and myself, i propose you put it to her in her next 'friday q and a'.
This all makes me recall the L. Ron Hubbard quote that goes something like...If you want to be rich and powerful, start a religion. So he did, turning one of his crap SF books into a cult and , voila! We have Scientology. I'm afraid I don't want to join your cult despite the daily hot tubs but you go girl. GO NADS, GO NADS, GO NADS.
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