hold the onions!
my new hospitality crush looks somewhat like this:
except with an armful of sexy tats and the incredible talent of making my name sound like dirty talk.
also he looks more israeli soldier sexgod than latino actor sexgod, but that's not a problem. i'm not a racialist.
he works in a cafe i go to occasionally for a takeaway salad when i can't be fatoushed making dinner for myself.
and his smouldering eyes and welcoming smile make me weak at the knees, wet in the pants, and stupid in the head.
plus he's a flirty flirt from flirtsville which makes it all the more fun.
here are some of the things i have thought about him doing while i have sat waiting for my dinner to arrive, pretending to be reading trashy magazines but really just picturing him naked:
- putting a note in my takeaway bag professing his lust for me;
- standing on the counter and professing his lust for me, seth cohen style;
- jumping over the counter and professing his lust for me while ripping his clothes off and begging me to do the same;
- throwing me on the counter while professing his lust for me and then "ravaging me", tarzan porn style.
you can see why i sometimes have trouble maintaining my composure at this particular cafe (and many others to be honest. i have a dirty mind. cope.)
of course i am well aware that his royal hotness no doubt flirts with all the laydeez who go to his cafe for a salad and a low-fat latte, but that's okay with me. i flirt with boys in other cafes too.
ours is an open relationship.
anyway, i'm off to buy me a salad and a low-fat latte. just as soon as i finish applying my make-up and pushing my boobs up.
anyone else got a hospitality crush they wanna tell the blogosphere about?
11 Comments:
okay, well, mine isn't strictly hospitality crush, but it happened in hospital.
i was ill a while ago, and there's this really nice junior intern nurse who looked after me at nights. she stayed around a lot and read books in my room and things since the hospital was very quiet at nights. Once - or twice - she needed to strip me (I don't think completely naked) coz i was drugged out and needed to change and all, and for some reason i think that just developed into a small crush. even my girlfriend noticed and she later chose to stay around the nights she was on shift.
problem is now i'm totally healthy.
I have a video shop crush.
Does that count?
It's an ongoing thing.
He's very unusual, and has interesting hair and a certain je ne sais quoi, which is why I like him and he told me I looked nice once when I went in there to drop off a dvd.
I literally RAN AWAY (I have a boyfriend and am fierce loyal, but I would have run away anyway as I am a complete wuss).
Last night I berated my boyfriend cause he told me he hired Deep Throat from there after watching the doco on it and the Video Store Guy was all 'whoooo!' and now he's gonna think I'm a slut (we use my card), although I didn't even watch it.
Fuck I'm fucked up.
i had a video store guy crush when i was in high school.
in fact i think having a video store guy crush is a right of passage for a young woman, sublime-ation.
i used to get all tarted up to go rent videos, hoping for...
well, actually i have no idea what i was hoping for. i was still virginal back then.
then last year i was at a party and i was introduced to a boy who looked really familiar and it took a few hours but i finally worked out it was him.
i told him how i had a mega crush on him years ago and he told me i should have told him cause he would have taken me "out the back".
then he implied i could fulfill my dream that night if i wanted.
i didn't.
the end.
And really, doesn't every girl dream of being 'taken out the back'?
PS - I grew up on a farm and that expression generally referred to livestock, and was followed by the words "and shot".
I have a hospitality crush on a guy that runs a massive function centre, simply because he looks like Mark Harmon.
My flirting with him is always* unsuccessful.
Eg:
Me: [batting eyelashes] So ... thanks for the free entry and the drink cards. What have you been up to lately?
Him: I'd love to chat but, in case you hadn't noticed, I am currently TRYING TO DEAL WITH SIX THOUSAND CUSTOMERS!
What's that thing called again? Oh. That's right. Timing.
*It is not always unsuccesful. I pashed him a few weeks ago. But we were both really drunk and I can't recall how it came about. I haven't seen him since.
YOU PASHED YOUR HC?!?
you are officially the nadstown 'hero of the day'(TM).
keep up the good "work", mscynic.
"the nadstown 'hero of the day'(TM)."
I freakin' love it! Do I get a sash and a tiara?
only if you promise to answer "world peace" to every question asked of you while you wear them.
well...there is this chick that works in this pub in darlinghurst. she's a bit of a bitch but damn is she fine!
when i worked in north sydney some years ago, i frequented the same sandwich bar everyday for lunch and ordered the same sandwich everyday - tuna and tabouleh on rye bread. how friggin desperate was i when: i queued up in the line that johnny the sandwich maker was taking orders from; when i used to blush when johnny flirted with me everyday and asked 'the same today?' in his sexy deep pommy voice (drool!) i was shattered when he told me he was leaving australia to go back to the UK... and that's my HC!
There's several hospitality boys I like, but I don't have an HC at the moment. The last serious one was a delicious, tatted, flirtatious straight boy who worked at the late, lamented Punters Club. *sigh* I even wrote poetry about him - now that's a crush!
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